Codependency & Compulsive Caretaking

When loving hurts

Many people have heard of codependence, but still struggle to truly understand what it means, which makes recovery very difficult indeed. At CHARTER treating codependence is a particular strength and we continue to excel at helping people find their dignity and self respect again, after years of feeling lost and drained, or in some cases for the very first time. Our priority is to teach you how to begin a commitment of consistent self care as this will challenge your codependence at its core.

Codependency is a term coined by practitioners in 1970’s working with the families of chemically dependent or alcoholic people who noticed that, as well as suffering the emotional impact of living with a person with a drinking or drug problem, some family members (particularly spouses) were deeply emotionally entangled with their partner’s condition, and suffering in confusing ways which were difficult to treat.

In a pattern primed in childhood, the codependent focuses on others whilst neglectful of their own needs, often leaving them feeling resentful and taken for granted, guilty for feeling that way, exhausted and worried.

Having a parent who is codependent can be profoundly frustrating as they seem to refuse to do anything sustaining for themselves.  This can cause you (the child) to become angry and intolerant, and then guilty for hurting the parent’s feelings. Many children of codependents refuse to show negative emotion for fear of enmeshment. As the partner of a codependent, you would be assessed for difficulties yourself, as a codependent almost always attracts people who are troubled in some way, and need them to help.

These patterns are deeply ingrained in a person’s way of being in relationship and are born of childhood experience which requires experience, patience and gentle handling to uncover and heal. At CHARTER we have workshops, group progammes and individual therapists where your codependency can be safely explored and understood, without judgement, so that you are can start your own process of valuable recovery. It might be the first thing you have ever owned for yourself!

Getting help

We are always happy to answer any questions you may have. You can make an appointment with our assessment team using our Enquiry Form or simply give us a call so that we can discuss your treatment options and how we can help you or a member of your family.

We also have a library of useful documents for you to download and read in our PDF Library.

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If you think you or somebody you know needs some help you can either give us a call or complete our enquiry form and one of our team will get back to you within 24 hours.

Looking for something particular? Try our sitemap or try our very useful PDF library and download some info to keep.

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